wild that rose within me. cry

"Today your Mother told me the truth about why Jan

left you.

My heart twisted. Swift currents of fear coursed through me.

"Mother-told-told you that Bob raped me? That he was the father of my baby?""

"Yes," kindness throbbed in my husband's voice. "She told me that too."

"Oh, Granger!" I sobbed. "I tried to spare you that knowledge."

ཝཱ

"It's all right, Melba." He clasped his hands tightly. "If it will please you, we'll never let Bob know I've learned the truth. Or if you prefer I'll" His fingers flew open, then clenched into fists.

"Please" I cried out. "Never let him guess you know.""

"As you wish." Granger cleared his throat and swallowed anger that had risen in him at the thought of Bob. "Melba," he leaned closer, and his eyes searched mine. "Why do you think Jan left you?"

I was drenched with old sorrow as I wet my lips and replied, "Because-after Bob had raped me she didn't want me.

"No." Granger put both hands firmly upon my trembling shoulders. "Your Mother never even told Jan about your rape."

9.9

I tried to speak but terrific emotion numbed me. Patiently, Granger explained.

"Your Mother told Jan you were so ashamed because Bob had seen you having intimacy with her, that you'd become ill. She told Jan that you'd been shocked into realization that Jan was blocking you from being the woman you should be."

"No!" The word thundered from my lips.

"And," Granger revealed, "your Mother told Jan that you were convinced that what you'd thought was 120

antagonism toward Bob-had really been attraction.' **No!"

"Yes. Your Mother said you mistakenly fought against it."

"Poor Jan! How Mother must have hurt her." Granger nodded sympathetically. "And she told Jan that you wanted to try and be like other girls." "No, no!""

"Yes. And that you didn't want to hurt Jan, but you wished Jan would go out of your life, and give you a chance to break the sex habit to which she had addicted you.

9.9

**How could Mother be so cruel?" I sobbed.

"Don't judge her too harshly," Granger said. "What she did was wrong. But she believed she was doing the right thing.

9.9

"Why didn't Jan come to me, talk with me face to face? Why didn't"

"Melba," gently Granger cut in. "Your Mother told Jan you didn't want to see her. She also told her Bob really loved you."

a lie.

I felt as if I'd been clubbed by the enormity of such "My God!" I murmured. "How could Jan believe that?"

"Because she loved you enough to put your welfare before her own happiness," Granger said. "Your Mother convinced Jan that if she would fade from the picture, Bob would be kind to you, devoted. She said she was sure you and Bob would eventually marry if Jan would give you the chance to find your way back to what your Mother called, 'the womanhood that was your rightful heritage.'

9.99

"I can picture Mother self-righteously making that speech." Tears slowly dropped along my cheeks. "I can feel the anguish those words must have caused Jan."

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